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2001-02 archive
2002-03 school year

Romance in the Halls
By Jess Williams

Everyday between classes, the hallways transform into theaters of triumph and tragedy, love and loss. Bystanders witness seemingly endless eruptions of teenage emotion: from bitter tears and angry accusations to long hugs and quick kisses, anything can happen in the course of one high school couple's day.

These highs and lows of adolescent romance prompted a study by sociologists Kara Joyner of Cornell University and J. Richard Udry of the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. They researched teen depression by studying the responses of 8,200 12- to 17-year olds across the country. The study consisted of two interviews from each subject about their feelings and irritations over the past week.

Joyner and Udry observed how depression levels changed between the interviews for each person. Their results showed "the romantically-involved adolescents showed a bigger increase in depression levels, or a smaller decrease, than uninvolved teens."

The Emotional Toll

Although the difference in depression levels of involved teens and single adolescents was only 2 percent, the question still stands: are romantic relationships ultimately detrimental to teenagers' outlook on life? Psychology teacher Doug Rinehart said teen relationships hold great importance because they help teens learn what they want in a later, more permanent relationship. The trade-off for this experience incorporates many emotions in a short period of time.

"High school relationships tend to be more of a temporary nature than long-term," Rinehart said. "This makes people more apt to get upset and [makes] emotions very fleeting."

He said the range of emotions brought on by a relationship can help shape and mature a person.

"Although the emotions in a typical high school relationship may be very brief, it does not diminish the impact," Rinehart said. "The feelings are very real."

He said some issues in high school relationships cause negative emotions because of the way students perceive dating. The media portrays an image, in both movies and television, of teen dating reality (see related story following). An actual teenage couple cannot meet those standards, he said.

"When students are dating they try to reach this ideal relationship, and when they don't live up to the expectations, they get really upset, which may result in fights," Rinehart said."The relationship between reality and ideal is congruent; the higher the ideal, or goal, the lower the reality relationship will drop."

Testing the Waters

Fights can be more common if students cannot act in a mature manner or are not self-assured enough to handle both the good and bad aspects of a relationship, sophomore Alysse Miller said.

"If you have not established who you are," Miller said, "how are you supposed to establish a relationship?"

She said students get upset over petty things, which makes them too unstable to maintain a relationship.

"Students should realize the stress just is not worth it," Miller said."There are so many other things to be happy about; you shouldn't dwell on all the small things that won't make a difference in the long run."

Senior Dave Colner said his three-year relationship remains strong because of both the good times and the occasional fights.

"You need the bumps in the road to make your relationship stronger," he said. "When experiencing a relationship, you get to learn about yourself as well as the other person, and you need both the good and the bad times to educate each other."

Colner said the few frustrating arguments he has had with his girlfriend ruin his mood until the disagreement is resolved. However, a relationship needs arguments, he said, so a couple can recognize and develop their ability to work things out.

"I learned to stop keeping things in and learned to be more outward,"Colner said. "It was extremely hard at first, but it was essential for my relationship to work."

Senior Katie Nelson said she has had a few small fights while dating, but since her relationship focuses around her faith and stability in God, she can solve them quickly.

"I believe God has better advice than anyone," Nelson said. "In my relationship we use God for answers, which always leaves us in a positive light."

She said many students date to find characteristics they want in a spouse, but she has found hers already; they are based on the Bible.

"A lot of people worry about how to approach a relationship and how to keep it constantly strong," she said. "But in my religion, you can pray and look to the Bible for help during a relationship, which makes things so much easier."

Differing Dating Practices

Sociology teacher Elaine Lehman said much of the stress and acute depression caused while dating or trying to date results from the confusion over teenage relationships. She said dating practices in the present era are shifting dramatically, leaving teenagers confused about the rules and roles of dating.

"There are two types of dating: traditional and contemporary," she said. "Traditional dating is where the rules are well known and the roles of the girl and boy and clear; the boy calls the girl, she gets dressed up, and the boy pays for dinner. But now we are starting to embark on a new form: contemporary dating, where both sexes are allowed to do whatever they want, the girl can call the boy and he is no longer assumed to pay."

She said although the two forms of dating are complete opposites, neither one is right or wrong.

"Different personalities are attracted to different forms of dating," Lehman said. "This can cause conflict between a couple if one believes in the traditional way and the other believes in the contemporary way of dating."

This conflict can overwhelm students, she said, but societal expectations, parents, media and religion can cause friction as well. Contemporary dating causes more stress.

"Teenagers run into role conflict; they play the role of a date and don't know how to respond because there are not any set rules to fall back on as there are with the traditional method," Lehman said. "It's hard dating with the traditional role, but it's threatening when you don't know any rules at all."

She said adolescence is biologically, psychologically and sociologically stressful, and the whole list of stresses can become overwhelming when dating. With both methods of dating in practice, confusion often arises. American culture values freedom; moving towards the contemporary style of dating leaves teenagers across the nation confused.

"The entire high school dating scene is confusing," Lehman said. "Sometimes I don't know how teenagers can handle it."