screen-shot-2016-11-05-at-2-19-32-pmI feel like it’s trendy this year to use the phrase “triggered”, meaning that a word, photo, or song has caused the recollection of  a bad memory that often results in a mental breakdown. Well, contrary to most of the people who use this jargon, I am actually triggered by something, and that something is Tim Burton’s 1993 movie “The Nightmare Before Christmas”.

I know what you’re thinking: what?! But, yes. I was traumatized by Tim Burton and I am ready to admit to it. The reason for this is that I was exposed to this movie at far too young of an age by my obsessed aunt and uncle. I don’t blame them, because it is rated PG (how, I’m not sure), but I was scarred and had a recurring nightmare for years in which the Boogie Man killed me in my sleep.

If you haven’t seen “The Nightmare Before Christmas”, here is a short summary. A living, breathing skeleton by the name of Jack Skellington (very creative) who is the “Pumpkin King” of Halloweentown has an existential crisis and decides that he doesn’t want to scare people anymore. So, he devises the genius plan to kidnap Santa Claus from Christmastown and take over his role as if no one would notice! Classic.

Oh, and I almost forgot to mention, it’s also a musical. The opening track, “This is Halloween” makes me want to cry, it’s so creepy in itself. And it’s just a song.

I won’t spoil the end for you because I’m a nice person, but this movie received 94 percent on Rotten Tomatoes. How?

Also confusing is the fact that this movie tries to transcend both the holidays of Halloween and Christmas. At what time are people supposed to watch it, honestly? So, how about this: don’t watch it at all. Boycott this film— if not for my sake, then for the greater good of this world. Thank you for your time.