Love-sick teenagers infiltrate, hallways, sickening onlookers

We all know those couples—the ones who cannot keep their hands off each other even if those around them are begging them to stop. Don’t get me wrong, these couples are good people and fun to be around—when they are apart. However, Public Displays of Affection have escalated to the point where couples can no longer be distinguished from exhibitionists.

PDA has always been an issue at UAHS, but for some reason this year, even cootie-prone freshman couples are seen kissing, caressing or cooing pet names to each other. And if you think the freshmen are bad, then just wait until you look at the upperclassmen’s hallway activities. Every year it seems that the amount of public love increases, with couples of all grades guilty of this infectious crime.

But what causes these teens to display their love so publicly? Their constant need of approval from their peers, secret desires to make their friends jealous, desperate need of attention, or is it their complete oblivion to social etiquette? I’d place my bets on the latter because I’m guessing the couples are too engrossed to notice their science teacher just saw them making out in the hallway.

However, there are alternatives for those hormone-raging teens who must kiss and cuddle in public. A quick kiss on the cheek or a friendly hug is acceptable as long as there is no groping or lingering stares involved. Hand holding is an unnecessary, but tolerable form of PDA, as well.

Unfortunately, more nauseating forms of affection continue to increase every day, and these couples must be punished. Many still choose to parade around the hallways in a trance of infatuation and love, making everyone around them appalled. The couples in question should be forced to either separate for the rest of the day or be a taught a health lesson on their easily-transmitted disease, PDA.

Honestly though, nothing can come out of PDA other than awkward conversation, disgusted stares, and disturbing encounters with teachers, classmates and other innocent bystanders. This is not a desirable situation for anyone involved.

My suggestion is to complete whatever act teens feel they must do in public as quickly as picking up a fallen French fry and devouring it so no one sees. Five-second rule anyone?