Columnist does not find the Weenies of Weenie Wonder very wonderful.
BY ALI ABUBAKR ’24
If you want some mediocre glizzy, Weenie Wonder is the place for you. Located in the newly bustling area of Bridge Park, near an abundance of shops and arcades, Weenie Wonder could be a nice place to eat while hanging out with friends.
The restaurant itself is deceivingly large inside, with large orange circular booths lining the walls, outside dining and a Chipotle-esque line where they make the food in front of you. It’s also located basically within the bowling alley Pins, and there are two large doors in the back that lead to the bowling alley and arcade on both sides.
I was initially attracted to Weenie Wonder because of the name — it’s a funny name. But what’s really funny is that you would think that in a place where the word “Weenie” is plastered in huge orange letters above the door, the best thing in the meal would be the hot dog. It wasn’t. I originally ordered the Wonder Coney that came with a side of Jojos, mac and cheese and a vanilla milkshake. Overall healthy meal, I know.
Jojos are seasoned potato wedges which are pretty good and crispy, the mac and cheese is wonderfully creamy and the vanilla milkshake is blended right in front of you from quality ice cream, topped with whipped cream and a cherry. So far, so good. It only gets worse from here. “The Wonder Coney came topped with cheddar, onion, mustard and ketchup, and on top of all of this, Coney sauce. The slogan for the restaurant is “Keep Your Mouth Happy,” but my mouth was anything but when I tasted the Coney sauce. If you don’t know what Coney sauce is, it’s a mix of ground beef, tomato sauce and chili powder. But I don’t think it should even qualify as a sauce because it was so chunky and overwhelming. Coney Condiment is a better name. The condiment took over the whole hot dog and it was all I tasted, and it certainly didn’t taste that good. I tried to wipe off the sauce, but even its residue was enough for me to be disappointed with the whole weenie.
But I didn’t think it was fair just to try one dog and swear on the whole restaurant. So I ordered another. I ordered the one that I thought was the most different from the Wonder Coney, the Wingdinger. If there’s anything good about Weenie Wonder, it’s the names. At any rate, the Wingdinger comes with buffalo sauce, lettuce, celery, cheddar and blue cheese. The portions of each topping was much better than the last weenie, and there was a healthy blend of greens, sauces and cheeses that left an almost tangy taste in your mouth.
It wasn’t bad, but it was while eating this weenie that I realized: these dogs have too many toppings. A good hot dog should be minimalistic. Think of backyard barbeques where the hot dogs come with ketchup, mustard and maybe some cheese at most. That’s it. And those hot dogs are marvelous. Now I know that it wouldn’t be practical for a restaurant to sell almost plain hot dogs, but this overcompensating in toppings and a horrible bathroom trip afterwards are what makes Weenie Wonder the first restaurant ever to be Not Ali Approved.
Weenie Wonder is located on 6562 Riverside Dr.