Columnist discusses her position in life as a second semester senior. 


This is a very weird time. As a second semester high school senior, I feel pulled in many directions. There are so many decisions about the future to be made. There is still high school coursework to complete. There are still extracurriculars to attend. There is so much focus on the future that the present feels strangely weird. 

I have found balancing college and scholarship applications with senior year coursework to be occasionally overwhelming. While all high school seniors will take somewhat different paths after high school, I am pretty sure everyone is struggling with balancing their future plan decisions and current academic demands. We have to think about what college, what training, what job, what major or what roommate and still remain focused on high school classes and extracurriculars. It feels like we are living in two different worlds, and it feels weird. 

With many applications already being submitted and future decisions made, it is also becoming hard to remain motivated to complete current schoolwork. Many of us just want a break after spending so much time on the future, but it is not possible given that there is still high school work to complete. Occasionally, I am starting to wonder if I really need to read the entire assignment or get an A on the test. I must admit that my drive and acceptable expectations are starting to wane, and that feels weird.

This constant shifting between the future and the present has also never been so prevalent. It is a strange stage in life — the stage between youth and pseudo-adulthood. We are still kids attending high school classes, experiencing high school activities and enjoying high school relationships, but we are also expected to be ready for adult-like responsibilities in six months. Some of us will have full-time jobs, enter the military or start college classes. It is a huge change in a short period of time, and it feels weird.

During this stage, I also cannot help but to reflect on my past — my good decisions, my bad decisions, things I enjoyed, things I disliked, things I regret and how it all formed me into the person I am today. I find self-reflection to be somewhat painful, but I cannot help but do it right now. It is how I learn about myself. It is how I form my confidence, my attitude, my perspective and my outlook. It is also how I form new relationships and how I strengthen or repair existing relationships. Simply examining my past also makes me realize that everything I have known so far in my life is soon coming to an end, and that feels weird.

Despite all of these feelings, I recently realized that I am actually excited. All of us seniors are about to experience possible life-changing opportunities, relationships, and accomplishments. The unknown and newness are exciting. The unlimited potential that we all have as 18-year-olds is exciting. We will never be at this point in our lives again. So I have decided that I am going to embrace this stage of growing up, complete my last few months of high school coursework, and enjoy this weird time.