Columnist reflects on spring break plans—or a lack thereof

By Aly Gordon ’13

March 16. This date, to the average passerby, is nothing special—merely a blip on their ever-changing radar. They dismiss it with a wave of the hand, a shake of the head, easily returning to their day-to-day lives without a second thought. Little do they know, though, that this date is not simply the Luithuanian day of the Book Smugglers, nor is it just another Latvian Legion Day. Rather, this day marks the start of something momentous, something crucial, something historic: It kicks off Upper Arlington’s oh-so-anticipated spring break.

As this celebratory day draws near, students, myself included, cannot help but join in the growing excitement. The halls are abuzz, not only with animated chatter, but with the notion that freedom is close on the horizon. However, one question—one simple, unintentionally powerful question—never fails to knock me and many others from our euphoric pedestal.

“Where are you going for spring break?”

Bam. Back to reality. This question, though certainly harmless in nature, is yet another reminder of my less-than-exciting spring break plans. While my peers are soaking up the sun on the white, sandy beaches of Siesta Key, climbing Mount Kilimanjaro and site-seeing in Paris, I shall be roosting at home, forced to watch culturally-enlightening films at the whim of my staycation-crazed mother.


And thus, with the acceptance of this unfortunate truth, the spring break blues fast commence. Although these blues sound painfully boring, you must—out of your own self-respect—make the most of them. I am not an expert on the matter, though I have several tips on improving this seemingly bleak situation:

1) Remember— you are not alone. In a survey of 67 students, only 40 said that they were leaving the Buckeye state, and of that number, only 8 leaving the U.S.

2) Despite the incessant urgings of both Kathy Lee and Hoda of the Today Show, do not—I repeat, do not—go on a staycation. Staycation is simply an imaginary concept invented by the media in their fervent quest for ratings. You may have eaten 10 pounds of General Tso’s chicken, watched three Chinese films and mastered the art of chopsticks, but you are still in Ohio, whether or not you like it.

3) Stay off Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, or any social networking site, for that matter. The last thing you need is to see the never-ending stream of happy-go-lucky statuses, ranging from the typical “Off to the beach!!! 🙂 #loveflorida” to the slightly more tasteful “Mexico bound <3; .”

4) Although Keeping up With the Kardashians and TLC’s Hoarders are calling your name, you must triumph over that beckoning remote, over the tempting-yet-unyeilding clutches of your family-room couch. I know it sounds crazy, even treasonous, but you could read a book. You know—books? Those rectangle things with, like, all those pages and words and stuff?

5) Last but certainly not least, take many a bubble bath. Don’t question, just do it.

Seeing as these tips are based solely on my own experience, they may work more or less for certain people. However, I can, in fact, offer students one sure-fire piece of advice: Remain optimistic. Look at this experience not as a week-long prison sentence, but as a way to avoid those notorious UV rays, an unexpected breakdown at a truckstop in Middleofnowhere, Tennessee, or that awkward moment when the TSA agents pat you down. Do yourself a favor: Don’t let the spring break blues bog you down.